trapped in my head

to finally see your own beauty,
to feel trapped inside your own head,
to wait with desires of others acceptance.

completing the circle of madness

i can no longer ask myself why
for the answer is no truth
a fabricated reason created to ease my worry

to assume out of need to know
the wrong makes you but embarrassed
to try again with same results



this madness we force on ourselves
creating this perfect circle of deceit

didn't he once say, the definition of madness
is to repeat the same action again and again
and expect different results?

yet we do not see the madness we create
we choose to look past it
creating delusions and excuses
all so we can feel this power as it rotates
we feel strong and right
until the part of the circle where
we fall into our wrong
live in our pain

to bask in the pain of a victim
not a comfortable place to be

i refuse to complete your circle

to be kept in their darkness

crawling from the depths of an others worse fate
emerging from the strangling hole of hate
stars were aligned to bring you here
yet there another lesson to be learned
each more difficult than the last

as you crush each obstacle
you feel stronger, wiser, smarter
yet each new hurdle presents itself a greater challenge

the test to always make you wonder if
you're capable
if you can withstand
if you're worth it

to feel worth it,
to smile from within
no worries of self doubt

only pride in aptitude
in willingness to push further
on towards greater rewards
and wonderful experiences

a smile to an inner love

who's the victim?

my unhappiness no other fault but this mind
lost in food
unable to feed this ever demanding brain
no fuel to keep this unhappy engine going
expanding the wrong way
losing sight of real purpose

self sabotaging
staking more pieces unevenly
teetering on edges of confusion
creating unnecessary hate
and dislike

to work in the hands of the victim



unhappiness of self
victimizes under pity
no sign of self restraint
to sobs of the victims despair

she finds good excuses to cover blame
to distract real purposes
to send the scent adrift

a negative entity working slowly to destroy me
to a point of no return

but the power of love strikes stronger
and bolder
to be one of great faith
and inner strength
to believe thy words of awareness
and truth

to not give into her
to stay neutral
to decide not to be that victim.

forever is eternity

rehashing old potatoes

the past so fresh to my face
places to return to lost time
unpleasant moments of young girls lessons
mistakes and judgements ablaze on the nose

to fear to let go
clinging to images
so old of self rejection
unstable ideas of what things were

to grow those wings
to fly so far away
to lands of age and exploration
becoming of wisdom
set free young hearts to soar
to commence on journeys of own feet
to follow no others path

yet, when time returns old
flooding memories of old injustices
unfair to blame yourself
old sores sear red with fresh openings
unable to find a rock to hide under



to keep yourself, to repay again each new breath
unwise and untold to continue
for with our own leaps, others bound as same
to stake them to that moment in time
to force them to await your return

the patience of taught
time to deal with feelings of pain and guilt
to release yourself that hook
allow yourself your freedom

this day the best
this day, a day to start from scratch