Recollection

While fighting off dark feelings of unworthiness

The light recollects truth of understanding

We understand that all we must do is simply remember

 

Truthful Liars

My grasp no longer holds yours
These once intertwined fingers
Now rest lifelessly at our sides
Each lacking the life of love

It was once so easy to play love
We used to tell each other every day
We both played into each others lies
Because believing in that was easier than knowing the truth

We believed our lies so much
That we had no problem proclaiming it to others
Spreading our cheer to all those
That dare not sink to our level
Oh how we thought we had them fooled

In their kindness, they did not call us out
In their kindness, they played along
Yet in their kindness, it did us no good

So here we are now
All out in the open
And no one is surprised
But us

We were such good liars
That we thought we were telling the truth

I forgot It Mattered

I allowed your judgements to justify
Suppressing my true desires
All in hopes to fit in

This desire of acceptance overshadowed
All intentions for higher understanding
For it pushed people into fear;
An uncomfortable place for new friends

What I forgot to remember
Is that part of me is not as good as all of me
Playing pretend loses its appeal
And all I am left with is empty memories
Of half spirited fun

I deliver forgiveness
For all those who do not want to be alone
We are not alone

 

Identity

I once held on for dear life
For I couldn't fathom the thought
To me, losing any was losing all
So I gave all I could
And always forgave first

Now they're all gone
Once feared to feel death
But proper feelings of freedom arose
For I no longer hold them as my identity

 

Take All That's Left

Once my confidant,
my teammate,
My sister

Now my anger,
My resentment,
My dissatisfaction

Together we were a force
Now I look at you as numbing emptiness
No longer my image of beauty
No longer my pillar of strength

Together I thought we built this housing
Now I can see that it was built out of kindling
Disguised as a gentle oak

Our friendship was always destined to go up in flames
I just chose not to believe it
Because the thought of losing you broke my heart
That was then

I don't know who gave you the matches
Or perhaps you had them the whole time
What hurts the most is that you struck the first match
The only one that truly matters

I'll stay here
I'll burn down with the house
Because I want there to be nothing left
Of me for you to claim as yours

I want to be burned
Beneath the ashes
Of our make-believe friendship

You wanted control,
And now you have nothing

 

At The Bottom Of The Sea

My heart sits at the bottom of the sea
Tied to the anchor you threw when you let me go
Not even checking to see if I could breathe
But I could

I come from the ocean
Although I'd feel more comfortable if I wasn't
Tethered to this place you left me.
I guess I am waiting
Waiting for you to come back for me
Foolishly.

My heart sits at the bottom of the sea

We Lived For You

This foolish, silly, heart of a
Foolish and silly little girl
How reckless she plays with it
Allowing most anyone to have a look
To have a touch
A piece

Naivety serves her young and reckless nature
Barely but a few scars scathe
Her freshly, supple, pink, young
Flesh of junior to this
Rough and gritty; soily, earthy experience

Experimental young views
Hasty decisions with no fear of
Failure to see beyond
Warnings of lives lived
In preparation for you, young
Silly little girl

 

Missing

I have asked for love and yet I will
not allow anyone to love me.

I have begged for truth and yet
I am afraid to share mine

I practice peace and yet I
allow my lack of patience to take the lead

I have a greedy ego and I have 
given into him.
He is my master and I cannot
say no to him.

 

What Shall Be

The one thing this confused

mind is certain of is its own confusion.

This Confused Mind

I swim deep within my confusion,

never resting longer than an uncomfortable

dip in time, 

to relax, into the bowls of uncertainty and to drink

the nectar, milked from the teat, filtered by all

Worshipers of darkness, for all her hatred of the Sun.