to-night.

sleepy, slowly falling eyes

rest upon that pillow

the time has come to bed the day

and fall into tomorrow

 

Maybe

Maybe this smile is for you
Maybe in this moment we shared
Maybe I said yes instead of no
Maybe you told me a secret
Maybe I cherished it as my own
Maybe I hid my true feelings from you
Maybe I worried I would lose you
Maybe I was scared to disappoint you
Maybe you trusted me anyways
Maybe I appreciated that trust
Maybe I felt safe finally saying how I felt
Maybe this all became foundation for something more
Maybe just maybe I wanted to be yours
&
Maybe just maybe you wanted to be mine.
     

Tear Soaked Smiles

The tears that stream are not formed from sadness this time
these tears are released out of understanding
relief and clarity

a gratitude is mine
to deliver to the deeper understanding of my being
to never waiver under feelings of loss
under feelings of exclusion

for all along it was I who chose to be on the outside
only wanting through thoughts of need
taught to desire inclusion, acceptance, warrant

how silly not to trust I was more
naivety at it's best
struggling against powerful core magnetism
for i always knew deeper than deep
that i was something special
something more

years spent
building myself back up
thought by thought
tear by tear
and desire by desire

yes, weakness still seeps through
in moments lacking confidence
lacking brightness

those moments carry importance
for it is what you choose to do after them
that shows you your true strength
your true character

I smile because it makes you want to smile.
               

praising the youth

deep within this logical center
thoughts win to visions
stopping time,
for nothing really exists.

Sharing pictures,
of this past self you still feel is you
to hold yourself to someone you long once were
how unfair - to be so stuck

white waves wash on through
taking with them the work you've done
to release that little gem
that little girl you've grown out of

I thank her for her patience
for her trust
and for her ever desire to keep pushing through

If it wasn't for her strength
I could never have gotten here
could never have seen past that insurmountable
mountain of lessons
to see that sunshine on the other side.