Spinning My Tires

I can't keep sitting in my fears.

 

She Whispered My Name: Fool

She held out her hand to me
to stop my approach
"I can see you fine from there"

Naivety no longer serves me
whereas before I might have fabricated good enough reasons to justify so as to not realize the selfish truth that lurked beneath it.

Her selfishness seen now as a sickly shade of green
Where did her beauty go?
Where did her strength and poise that I so admired go?
Have I always worn these glasses of deceit, just so I could pretend to be a part of something, if even just for a short while?

The blame for ignorance I place upon myself.
My greediness a perfect target,
to get all that she wanted.
Except all that she wanted was never [good] enough.

Thus, I shall never be good enough. 

I must never outshine her.
Never be better!
stronger!
more attractive!
knowledgeable!
"Stay beneath my thumb and I will give you all that you request..within my reasons."

So this lie she fed me, the one I so eagerly grabbed at, is actually nothing of what I wanted or needed. For all I wanted was to be apart of something.

Yet her something turns out to be nothing.
She didn't exist, because she was never truly authentic.
She was simply an idea, that poetically grew into a masquerade of deceptions.

No anger serves her
for she has no name to curse
Nameless, Faceless, Heartless.


To read these words
you may shed pity.
- what a waste of energy -

If anything; grow knowledge from this;
Call out your naivety.
Face your false convictions.
Be real with your true intentions.

For no one can fool you if you do not wish to be fooled in the first place.

 

A Warning

Do not listen to the closed-eye walkers.