Engulfed

I feel helpless, hopeless
To this drag of mine
Sucking and slurring
The lines between desire and desolation

Wicked are your curves
The way your smoke coils around me
Suffocating  my desire for breath
And depriving me of my freedom

Yet I choose you time over again
To send me down this same rabbit hole
Down to the pit of nothingness

I am your slave
Yet I shackle myself
To your dirty grip
Like it's the oxygen that rules me

One day I won't choose you
Yet you'll find another unlikely soul
And just like me, they'll fall for your charm
And misdirection

One day I won't choose you,
Wicked and vicious I shall be

When I choose freedom, 
You won't stand a chance to win me back
When I choose freedom,
I will turn away from you with satisfaction
When I choose freedom,
Freedom I shall have

Captive

The pitter patter of time
Racing through my ears
Dancing on the notes of the living
And laughing past the souls of the dead

Alive, yet stalled in this place of empty
Sullen and bare to the desolation of stillness
I am your captive
Yet your eyes don't meet mine
I am captive
Yet no one stole my freedom

Forsaken, I slew through wells of doubt
My own misgivings
Upon memories that now only lead to lack

Where shall I find myself
If I let my freedom regain
Where shall I find myself
If I never felt helpless enough to give up

I am captive
Out of my own surrender